The Super Big Evil Math Finals of Doom
by foxtrotelly
Summary: In an irritated whisper, she answers,“What the hell do you want from me Hyuuga? Can’t you see I’m practically dying a slow and painful death here!” "Look Sakura, just answer the question."


One word: Holiday Freedom! XD Enjoy my friends. :

**Disclaimer: **Foxtrotelly gives all respectful copyrights to the genius and creative work of Tachibana Higuchi-sensei.

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**The Super Evil Big Math Finals of Doom**

_**~A Foxtrotelly One-Chappie~**_

_ With all the pride in the world a 7__th__ grade Math teacher could ever have, Jinno walked the halls of Gakuen Alice one clear, early summer morning, a tall stack of freshly-printed, end-of-the-term Algebra tests in hand, a paper bag of red ink and F- stamps in the other._

**=.= . ^.^**

I set down the stack of papers and brown paperbag on the table with excessive force. One word: Authority.

I begin in my usual ruthless and uncaring voice, "Today is the set date of your Math Finals." I write down the words on the blackboard behind me and underline them twice.

Picking up the stack of examinations, I pace through the desks and hand each student a seven-page test paper. "As you may all know, this written exam is not only your final test for the semester, but also an assessment that would evaluate if your performance in my class is enough to pass you for junior high, just like the other examinations you would be having today and the day after tomorrow," I state tersely, abruptly stopping beside the desk Sakura, Hyuuga, and Nogi share.

"I am also sure that you were all informed that these final exams make up an incalculable 80% of your grade for every respective subject it is placed under," I pause to smack a test paper in front of Sakura, who in turn flinches as my hand clouts against the desk, then add curtly, "Which means passing is mandatory."

I lean forward and lower my voice, "Isn't that right, Sakura?"

The girl trembles, and timidly nods her head. "Y-yes, Jin-Jin, I-I mean, J-Jinno-sensei."

I straighten up and look down on her, clutching her pencil and shaking all over as if I was the most fearful thing to her. I've always hated that kind of vulnerability and cowardice. It reminded me of something much more painful; foolishness, stupidity – her mother.

I turn around and start walking towards the front of the classroom. From the corner of my eye, I see Tobita raise his hand rather shyly.

"Tobita, what seems to be the problem?" I ask gruffly.

"Uh, Jinno-sensei, I-I th-think you seem to h-have b-b-been mistaken about t-the fact th-that it's 80% of our grade, when it's a-actually forty-five – "

"Wrong, Tobita." I correct him rather unkindly, "I believe this 80% is inclusive of mental aptitude of the subject, application of skills, over-all grade-point average, and penmanship."

"S-sorry sir. M-may I-I sit d-down?" he asks nervously. I eye him coldly, signaling him to take a seat.

"I thought so." I take one last swooping look at the class as I stand proudly behind my desk. An array of emotions displayed themselves before me as anxiety, uneasiness, and even monotony, extended its many variations.

"Start."

_**(Fifty-five minutes into the test – five minutes before the bell)**_

**-_____-**

I set down my pen resignedly and sigh – but not too wearily. From beside me, Iinchou too had finished at the same time I did. I catch his eye and notice the same bushed twinkle always present after a long, hard day. I give him a nod and small smile, which he returns with a mouthed 'good job' and a gleeful tap of his pencil.

My gaze flits to the front of the room, where Jinno sat for the last fifty-six minutes rearranging his grade stamps and ink pads with that sadistic look I've known him by throughout the years. From behind me, the freak twins wear crumpled faces, Shouda masking her uneasiness with a facade of false pride and haughtiness just right beside them. Giving in to the look of constipation was Mochu, together with a horrified Kitsunume, where the irritatingly shrill whistling was coming from, and Koko who looks like his sanity was slowly slipping through his fingers – again – on either side of him.

By the looks of their faces, I could tell they were all stuck to the same question: Part 3.2, letter B, item number 4. It lay itself out in my head, my mind doing all the necessary equations to double-check if I wasn't mistaken.

Luckily, I got past that rut with the correct answer.

And then I finally turn to give their awkward trio a discreet glance. Bunny boy was leafing through his test paper, his forehead scrunched worriedly. "Sleeping" with his arms rested behind his head and his feet propped up onto the table was Hyuuga, who I could perfectly tell was watching the idiot from the corner of his partially opened eyes.

As for the baka herself? My senses told me she wasn't even halfway done – or at least not halfway finished with the correct answers as she furiously erased her way to a hole in her test paper.

**_____**

Part 3.2, letter B, item number 4 – oh, how I loathe thee. I try whistling cheerfully to calm my nerves, but Jin-Jin only ends up shooting me down with one of his infamously terrifying, bone-chilling, stone-cold glares.

My teeth grit and my insides tie up in knots. I feel my face contort into a horrid shape, earning me a scrutinizing, and almost mocking look from Hotaru. I simply shudder.

Yeah, Hotaru scares the hell out of me too.

It was times like these when I recalled, in the words of a great teacher, his favorite saying – one that usually applied during tests like this:

"_During an exam, you should remember these important guidelines: You may look upwards for inspiration, and downwards in desperation, but always – no matter what you do – look sideways for information."_

It was either a great teacher or that stubbly man from Central Town that sold cheating devices and crib notes that always told me to ignore what wise scholars and great thinkers say because cheating was much easier, that told me about this piece of advice. Point was, I've never had my handful of fantastic teachers over the years or was ever allowed to go near that store in Central Town ever since I got caught in the fourth grade, which must have meant I got that nifty little excerpt from Mochu – or Koko.

Desperate times…

"Psst, Koko, did you get part 3.2, letter – " I lean in and whisper to him.

His bent head moved, and I hear him murmuring back, "Not exactly. Me and Mochu decided on writing _'asdfghjkl'_ on it instead, just to be sure._"_

"Oh yeah," I mused. "Why didn't I think about that?"

**-____-"**

Flipping back to the decimal portion, I double check all my answers. Everything seemed to be well enough, though I wasn't quite sure of my linear equations on page four. Darn, these algebraic expressions don't seem right – but then again, they were acceptable if you'd consider the laws and rules of equality.

The fractional and rational terms were a hard challenge, while page three that consisted of factoring methods remained easy and true. Page six had its ups and downs as I fought my way through battles of quadratic trinomials and broken pencil leads. I breezed through page one quite easily because they were only set problems, though page five and seven were difficult what with all age-related problems and geometry-slash-combinatoric factoids and calculations that spelled confusion and trouble by themselves already.

In truth, the road through the end-of-term assessments was quite bumpy, but now I find myself in a state of bliss as I finished my exam and closed it inside the folder in front of me in a meager span of five minutes before the bell.

I browse my way through my test again, taking note of the items I wasn't sure of, feeling equally satisfied as much as the next guy – until I come across an item I left unnoticed just a while back. It was part 3.2, letter B, item number 4, the hardest equation known to mankind – and it was left blank.

I dip my head down in disappointment, then involuntarily steal a glance to my left.

From behind the barricade Natsume's propped up feet made, I stare at Sakura's sweet face, all furrowed and creased in displeasure. The expression didn't suit her well – but heck, she still looked adorable anyway.

Ok, what did I just find myself saying? I have to focus. Focus, Ruka, focus – you are your own master.

I frown for a while, then go back to work, poring over the paper once more.

Darn those self-help books too.

**=___=**

Jinno was – by all means – a cruel sadist, the epitome of evil math teacher, who seemed to enjoy the pain and suffering of little children among anything else. This test was designed to drive you far enough to the brink of insanity – and even kill the most dim-witted idiots, making them die long, agonizing deaths covered in math equations and messy ink blots.

This is all so pathetic.

Mochu looks constipated while the two morons on either side of him either look mortified or appear to be teetering atop the deepest pits of dementedness – again.

This is all so ridiculous.

Imai and Tobita are finished and now sitting in comfortable peace – just as expected, which meant I beat them by five minutes, making me farther by a mile. Reluctantly, I begin to bask and bathe in my own sense of false pride – until I take a look at Ruka and almost snap out of my absurd state.

Ruka looks like he was ready to crack from too much grimacing as he remained unconscious to the fact that I was secretly enjoying this. I stifle a dark, inward chuckle, and keep my wolfish grin to myself.

Again with the fake glory – when is it ever going to stop?

Then as I sneak a glance to my left, I suddenly crash back down to earth.

This is all so stupid.

She didn't stand a chance against those equations because they'll just end up eating her brain up and killing her.

The idiot's face, all puckered up, stayed bent over her math exam. I almost let out a mocking laugh at her deplorable attempts of passing Jinno's dreadfully hard exam, just until a thought crosses my mind.

I begin to think of junior high and how it would be impossible to live through – without her.

Damn Jinno and his evil, sadistic ways.

I slant towards her and whisper, "Hey."

**x___x**

I furiously hiss back, "What?!"

A troublesome Natsume was just about the last thing I needed right now.

"Are you done?"

"What the hell do you want from me Hyuuga?! Can't you see I'm practically dying a slow and painful death here?!" I whisper, irritated.

"Look, _Sakura_, just answer the question."

"Have you just gone stupid or has you're brain finally stopped functioning because of excessive arrogance and egotism? Of course I'm stuck at my last item: Part 3.2, letter B, item number 4, you moronic jerk!"

"Fine, I'll let you finish, but 'til then, the super important message would have to wait," he says coolly, resuming his previous position with his hands rested behind his head and his feet on top of the table.

Infuriating.

"Ok then," I begin in mock interest without looking up from my exam as I jotted down a few last numbers, "what is this 'super important message' you wanted so much to tell me about, o great one?"

I see his eyebrow twitch, until he finally spoke in a composed tone, "Your fly's open."

"SH – " I quickly motion to zip up my skirt. From the corner of my eye, I imagine seeing his hands move atop the table.

"Who's the moron now, huh?" I hear him say.

"You self-conceited, no-good, perverted, de – "

_BRRRIIINNGG!_

I suddenly get cut off by the bell.

Natsume abruptly stands up and walks out of the classroom.

Curse that pigheaded jerk, I wasn't finished with him yet.

**^____^**

Natsume strains to hear the voices that belonged to the people who were walking close by.

"Aww, c'mon Youichi, can't you even give me just a piece?" a shrill, high-pitched voice pleads.

"No," comes the plain answer of a smaller voice.

Their voices grew louder.

"Why not then?"

A long pause – but they kept walking, right until they were in plain sight of Natsume.

"Because it's nacho cheese," Youichi flatly retorts, shaking the bag of **Doritos® Nacho Cheese **chips in front of Mikan's face.

Mikan stops as she catches sight of Natsume sitting under the tree right in front of her, Youichi uncaring enough to leave her behind, rooted to the spot.

"Hey, Natsume, haven't seen you around today," she attempts at acknowledging him smoothly.

Natsume quirks an eyebrow, "It's been a nice day since you came trampling around."

For a split second, Mikan's face contorts. Natsume notices the math test folder in her one hand.

Mikan begins to walk towards him, that ridiculously indifferent front still plastered on her face.

"Natsume…" She starts to open the folder.

"What, are you going to show me how you managed to flush your chances of getting into junior high down the toilet with exceedingly flying colors?" Natsume asks dryly, his insides taking an uneasy lurch as he waits in nervous anticipation.

"No. I-I actually came here to thank you," she says as she lets her face break into a wide smile. Mikan suddenly threw the opened folder that had the math test fastened into it onto Natsume's lap.

On it, Natsume reads a _B _stamped on the upper-right corner of her paper, encircled in red ink.

"What's this mean to me?"

"That means I'm one step closer to passing junior high!" she throws her hands up gleefully, her face lighting up.

"Oh yes, golly gee, this idiot – just the thing I need the most in eighth grade," Natsume comments in blunt sarcasm.

She seemed to ignore his little statement, and continues on to prodding him. "Turn to part 3.2, letter B, item number 4." She nudges his leg with her foot.

"Dammit, Polka, stop that."

"Stopping." She beams.

Natsume leafs through the pages in hidden amusement, until he reached the part that practically drove 3/4's of the class insane. There he sees the calculations he secretly wrote over Mikan's wrong answer.

"I don't know how you did it, but thanks," Mikan's grateful tone came from directly in front of him. She was now before him, her big, brown eyes sparkling with happiness.

Natsume feels himself choking – screw if possible – on air. In a struggle, he forces his sputtering muffled and his expression just as complacent as ever.

"Hn."

Mikan leans forward and gives him a light kiss on the cheek before quickly snatching her math test from Natsume, standing up and traipsing off towards the direction Youichi went – as if she didn't have a care in the world.

"Y-Yo-chan! Thanks a lot for being not original, as if we can go around not knowing where that quirk came from. You come back here!" she calls over to the distance with a slight shake in her voice, wagging her fist as she went off.

Natsume swears that if it wasn't for that faint blush on her face he noticed before she left, he wouldn't be "helping" her with three other exams, tops; biology, history, and English, anytime soon. Pleased, he smirks triumphantly to himself before continuing with the manga he was reading.

**~ FIN ~

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Ok, dammit, that was my shot at being funny. Bahh, don't shoot me. XD

_Asdfghjklsemicolon, review! (:_


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